old.

Well it has happened folks. About a week and a half ago, while brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, I was faced with the ugly truth of getting older. I found a weird lump in my neck. Now, I wish I could say it ended like this. However, there are a few obstacles standing in the way of that.

One: I have not had this all my life.

Two: Mine is in the front, right above that little notch-y part of my collarbone. Picture a small, female-ish, too low Adam’s apple. (Are you smitten with me yet?)

Three: I have not started the menopause, so I don’t believe it’s the hormonies that have caused it to spontaneously grow.

Four: I went to the doctor today and although she didn’t do a bio…the b…the…the bios…the…b…the bibopsy, she did feel around quite a bit and described it as a “soft tissue nodule.” (Translation: She didn’t feel any teeth or spinal column.)

Needless to say, I was bummed. I’ve always wanted a twin. So, I will be going in for an ultrasound within the next week or so to determine what’s hanging out in there. But I’ve digressed from my original statement. I am getting old. I am only 26, but you know what? Only oldish people are suppose to find odd bodily growths sprouting up in places they don’t belong. Life just got real. 

For those of you who know me well, you are probably concerned that I have worried myself into a dark, anxiety filled hole. Rest easy as I can assure you that I am a reformed moderate hypochondriac. But yes, I did WebMD it prior to calling my doctor. And although thyroid cancer did pop up as a potential diagnosis, I bypassed it and diagnosed myself correctly. Bam! (Side note: I should remind you that the official diagnosis is still out as to what is really hanging out in there, but all signs are pointing to a nodule type thinger. I’ll keep you posted.)

This concludes the “Didn’t need to know that about Amanda” portion of the blog. Annnnd, you’re welcome.

summer.

Oh boy, I am living the dream this summer. Every summer, I start off feeling like this. Usually this feeling lasts until July when I think, “What comes after July? August! Which means inservice is right around the corner and the kids will be here before I know it, which means I should have started getting ready back in January…” I’m not crazy per se…I just like to be prepared and someday when I grow up, I will learn how to relax. To be honest, I’ve already done quite a bit of school stuff this summer but I’ve managed to fend off this doomsday feeling (it’s still June). Don’t get me wrong, I love my job…but I love not working too 🙂

As far as my “Grand Plans for Summer” list goes:

1) Finish my two summer classes (yeah, I know, not fun but must be done) – I am making progress and taking names. I’m over half done with my first summer class and will be starting my last one next week.

2) Join a Zumba class

3) Complete the Couch to 5K challenge – I am in the middle of week two of the Couch to 5K training…and yes, if you do the math I have not kept on track with the weeks. I would like to say it’s all because of rain and poor weather but really I just lose track of time and forget to do it three times a week…weather is only a minor factor. But I will say, I’ve been exercising more and eating more “real” food (which, is of course, another item on my list! See #7!)

4) Renew my joy of reading with such classics as…

Seriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
I’ve Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella – On page 178!
Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
and anything else Rory Gilmore has read and I have not…

5) Plant some mosquito repelling plants, like lemongrass or marigolds, on my balcony – After some additional research, I found that marigolds attract wasps and we already have a small issue fending off wasps. So, obviously I didn’t plant marigolds…and lemongrass was intimidating. I called it a draw, planted some zinnias, and bought a citronella candle.

6) Get a tan

7) Eat less processed food and more fruits and vegetables – See #3!

8) Go to rummage sales

9) Walk to where I’m going more and drive less – Technically…no progress. BUT I have gone on a few walks…sooooo…

10) Go on a mini-doesn’t-cost-too-much vacation

11) Buy lots of books at the library book sale

Summer summer summer! I love it!

praises!

I got a new job! I got a new job! I got a new job! That’s right. After applying and interviewing for positions for three years (ugh, I know), I found myself having two job prospects within one week. I actually had the opportunity to say no to someone. A year ago, heck, a month ago, I wouldn’t have ever thought that was a possibility. 

My new job is in the school that I taught at as a long-term sub for a year and a half. I know the students, staff, curriculum — in short, I know how the place works. I am so relieved that I will be able to hit the ground running and not feel like I have to play catch-up. Timing is totally everything and I’m so excited that everything has worked out!

couch to 5K.

I survived the first day of my Couch to 5K training. I downloaded the app probably close to a month ago and the stars just finally aligned for me to get up off my couch and actually do it. I’m not actually training for a 5K, but rather I just have a desire to be able to run a few miles without feeling like I’m going to die. Stamina has never been a good friend of mine.

Day one was easy peasy. It consisted of a 30 minute workout with a five minute warm-up walk, one minute run, two minute walk, alternating between the two for 20 minutes, and then a five minute cool down. Piece of cake.

I went out on the bike trail that’s behind my parents’ house, parked my car and was off. Luckily there were few people on the trail and the wind was just right. After fighting my way through swarms of gnats and being attacked by a dog (read a small Yorkie jumped up on me), I finished without feeling like I needed to throw up or pass out. Success!

praises!

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!

Ahem. I got a job 🙂

praises!

I got a call for a second round interview! Annnnd I got a call for an interview in another district! Here’s to another week of stress headaches and increased vigilance as to how sweaty my palms are. Allllllright!

grand plans for summer.

Every year, summer comes and goes. The anticipation leading up to those three months when I don’t have to wake up at 5am usually seems to last much longer than summer does. Well, not this year! I’m taking charge and being intentional! After a year of working full-time, driving to Milwaukee twice a week for night class, and spending my weekends holed up in my apartment completing assignments and lesson planning, wellllllll, let’s just say I’m more than ready for the summer. Here is my “Fun in the Sun: Summer 2013 Guide to Reclaiming my Life” list:

1) Finish my two summer classes (yeah, I know, not fun but must be done)
2) Join a Zumba class
3) Complete the Couch to 5K challenge
4) Renew my joy of reading with such classics as…

Seriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
I’ve Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
and anything else Rory Gilmore has read and I have not…

5) Plant some mosquito repelling plants, like lemongrass or marigolds, on my balcony
6) Get a tan
7) Eat less processed food and more fruits and vegetables
8) Go to rummage sales
9) Walk to where I’m going more and drive less
10) Go on a mini-doesn’t-cost-too-much vacation
11) Buy lots of books at the library book sale

praises!

Praise God! I was asked to interview at two different school districts next week! I’m hoping one of these schools is the one that God wants me to be at next year. 

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. – Proverbs 3:5

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

jobs grow on jobbies.

Disclaimer: I fully realize that this is going to make me sound ungrateful, which is far from the truth. I am incredibly grateful for the people in my life, especially their willingness to care and show their support. This post is really due to an overwhelming need for a cathartic experience due to the ample numbers of people who keep asking me, “Have you started applying for jobs?” “Do you have a job for next year?” “When can you start applying for jobs?” Blurg. I’m just tired of answering these questions with non-commital responses so that I don’t make the other person feel bad when I say, “Well, actually, I started applying for jobs about three years ago. It’s gonna happen any minute now!” People ask so innocently, with the best intentions of course, because they really have no idea what the market is like right now. What I would really like to say has already been said by none other than Charlie Day:

 

worry about yourself.

Oh Lordy. This whole applying-for-jobs-as-my-permanent-hobby thing is getting reallyyy old. I graduated from college in December 2009, and unfortunately my story is not unique. I have been trying to break into the teaching business for the past three and a half years now, and let me me tell you: It’s not as easy as it looks. If I had a job for every time an employer told me, “We’re just looking for someone with more experience,” well, shoot. I’d have about fifteen jobs too many. 

I wish I could give you some real statistics on my employment efforts, such as how many I’ve applied for, how many interviews I’ve had, how many “close but no cigar”, or rather, “You’re good, but not that good,” conversations I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of. I could go ahead and actually count them all up, but frankly, that would be depressing and much like rubbing salt in the wound. I will tell you that I have a manila file folder that’s about an inch thick full of resumes, cover letters, and copies of applications that I’ve submitted over the past three years. The plan is to burn the damn thing once I finally hear those glorious words: “You’re hired!” But, alas, the folder is currently collecting dust and probably won’t grow much thicker even though I’m still applying. You see, I’ve been applying for sooo long now that technology has advanced soooo much that I no longer need to print all of those application materials. Instead, the magic of electronic documents has taken their place. Goodbye large yellow mailing envelops! See ya expensive postage! Adios Postal Service! (I actually retract that last valediction, because I would like to keep the US Postal Service around. I actually choose to mail things that probably should be done electronically in hopes that my one Forever stamp here or there is enough to keep Saturday delivery a thing. Apparently it’s not.)

I realize that last paragraph is rather, “Back in my day, we used to hike uphill both ways!” The truth is, the online teaching application sites have just been a little behind the times and stuff that should have been uber-digital about five years ago is just now happening. I’m not that old. Contrary to what it feels like, I have, in fact, not been applying for two decades.

The real issue is that I’m really starting to lose hope. I didn’t know a person could be this tired, and I’m not just talking about being physically tired. I am emotionally exhausted. My mental faculties feel fatigued. My personality went to sleep about a year ago, right around the time I decided to go back to school to get a different teaching license, and I’m not so sure it’s ever going to wake up. I used to be funny. I used to have energy. I used to not clench my teeth ALL OF THE FREAKIN’ TIME. Seriously, I wake up and my jaw hurts. I yawn and realize that my facial muscles have been working overtime to ensure I require a mouth guard within the next five years. I am not myself and I just want it to stop. It needs to stop. 

In an effort to lighten the mood, I’ll leave you with this.